Every person lives according to a certain hierarchy of values. Values represent what is most important for us. For example, my hierarchy of values are:
- Spreading art to the world
What does it mean? Well, if you have this value set and you live according to your highest values, it means you’re spending most of your time leading, inspiring and spreading art to the world. And that’s great, because if you live according to your highest values, you’re:
- Inspired from within
- Your brain is expanding
- Executive center in your brain comes online, to give you a plan for overcoming challenges along your way
- Your space and time horizons expand, so you see a greater and more clear vision
On the other hand, if you’re lying to yourself and you spend your time cooking or working as a socks seller – it means you’re not living according to your highest values. As a result:
- You lack confidence and motivation
- You’re chasing inspiration from the outside
- Your brain is collapsing (you’re becoming dumber)
- Executive center of your brain goes to sleep
- Your space and time horizons contract, you’re living on a day-to-day basis (survival mode), chasing more immediate gratifications and possibly fighting against “that unfair world” (victim mode).
It is not my opinion, it is hard science, called Axiology. Also, keep in mind that there’s no better or worse values. Don’t compare your values to other people’s values and don’t try to impose your values on their lives.
A little political/economical aside
(Skip if that’s not your cup of tea): Trying to tell other people how to live is aggression, and from economical perspective aggression always leads to poverty. Why? Because by seeking to control, we elect people to the government with the same mindset – those who seek control. As a result, we get controlled ourselves. And if you look to statistics, most prosperous countries are those where people have biggest amount of liberties (least intrusive governments), and the most poor countries are those where government has taken extreme control of people’s lives. You can read more on government’s aggression and liberty in this wonderful book “Healing Our World” by Dr. Mary J. Ruwart.
Perfect balance in the Universe
In fact, since the Universe is perfectly balanced, there’s a person somewhere on this planet who has the complete opposite hierarchy of values, compared to yours. These are complementary opposites. If you ever meet this person, be grateful for that. Don’t fight over whose values are more important. But even if you fight, be grateful for that as well. Later you’ll see this as a challenge sent from the God, a great blessing. All challenges are to help us grow. It’s impossible to grow and evolve without challenges. Whatever life’s path we take, we’ll always have 50% support and 50% challenges. Supports help us be more childish and dream more. Challenges help us be more adult-like and stronger. If the path is our authentic one, we overcome all challenges with the help our brain’s executive center and inner inspiration. If not (if we don’t live according to our highest values), we give up soon. If that happens, be grateful as well. Life knocks is just feedback mechanism signalling to you that you’re still lying to yourself and doing what’s truly most important to you, to fulfil your soul’s purpose.
Trap of comparing yourself to others
Deep inside your heart, you know if you’re lying to yourself or not. You know whether you’re living your life out of fearful mind (mostly using rational part of your brain), or out of infinite field of possibilities (mostly using creative part of your brain). You know if what you’re doing is truly important to you or not.
However, quite often, when we enter adulthood, we forget about what’s truly important for us (our highest values). Because we think “ok, I need to make money now, what should I do?”
Then, you look around what are high-earning professions, you talk to people who are doing that, and you just choose. Not caring about your life’s purpose too much. Because, hey, the path of purpose is authentic – nobody except you has ever walked into that, so your rational brain tells you: “no way it’s going to work, I’d rather stay safe in this nicely paid job”. But the more you live, the more your soul gets sucked in that job, you indulge into immediate gratifications (vacations, over-eating, over-shopping, alcohol, drugs, etc.) to make you feel better. But what you’re actually doing is escaping your life and fighting with your own soul – doing everything to mute its voice, so that you don’t hear the truth. That is freaking stressful. You get into the prison of your rational mind – congratulations, you’ve just epically fooled yourself. Then you start to compare yourself to others. Who earns more, who has bigger house… Instead of being loyal to your soul, following your purpose and getting powerful rewards, you minimise yourself to the fearful peasant life and you spend your time worrying about your bills and your future, even though you have that “well paid prestigious job”.
Would you rather have the whole world against you, or your own soul?
In my opinion, staying loyal to your soul is the ultimate purpose. Because your soul has already chosen your purpose on this planet, before you were born. Why mess it up? Soul has already prepared a life of magnificence for you, so why you don’t believe it? Why do you let your ego (and rational brain) to minimise your life? Your rational brain will never be able to grasp the magnificence of the Universe. Don’t even try, why waste your time? Magnificence just IS. It doesn’t need to be explained by your stupid rational brain.
For example, one day I was watching kite surfers. One guy was surfing into the open sea, against the wind. My rational brain started to think: “what the hell, how he can go against wind and so fast?! It’s impossible!”. And then I laughed. Nobody cares about what you think, you stupid rational brain. You see? It just IS. It’s just happening. No matter if you can explain it or not. So why bother too much. If I spent 5 minutes trying to rationalise what I saw, I would have completely wasted the whole experience. By overthinking, I wouldn’t have been in the present moment. Because you’re either trapped in your thoughts, or you’re just OUT THERE, in the infinite FIELD OF POSSIBILITIES. Why beat yourself up by trying so hard? When the guy returns, I can just ask him how it works. He will explain me in 1 minute, and I won’t have wasted my precious brain power. Or, I can just google. But only later. For now, enjoy the present moment with the great awe.
How to identify your highest values?
Dr John Demartini is the beast on this topic. Just use his free online process, spend 1 hour answering questions and the result that you’ll get will give you clarity. You may need to repeat the process a few times until you finally stop lying to yourself and you get real answers. For me I had to do it 5 times over the course of 2 years, read Demartini’s book, watch interviews and go to listen to him live twice until I finally opened up and became clear on my highest values. Because I’ve been lying to myself for 9 years straight, so it took some time to dissolve all of that bullshit. For you it might be easier. Or harder. Everyone’s situation is different.
Also, keep in mind that your values change over time, so it’s wise to repeat this process regularly, 1 or 2 times per year.
The link is here: https://drdemartini.com/values-determination/